Understanding

it has been a long long time since i came here n write a post. Today, I had an awesome day. Helping fds to move houses, great dinner, had a great chat (almost). But as we continue to talk, we reached until point where we held 2 different ideas. when both of us think wt we were saying is rite and dun wanna give in, this is where the great chat became an almost great chat.

as usual, once we chatted until point where we hold different ideas/opinion and we both think we have nth wrong, then it is where the problem is. He will always say "it is my fault sorry". But this will nvr b the reply or response that i want. Because i know deep down in him, he doesnt think that way. He just doesnt want to continue to talk or he thinks we will nvr understand each other. And every time, we would end with awkwardness and sadness. like be4, tears fall, heart sinks, silent me. We will nvr come to a conclusion. We will nvr understand each other. We will nvr have conflicts because we will nvr talk. We will always stop at the point, and avoid the topic, in order not to have that conversation, and we would think that this topic is all settled, nth wrong, we are still a happy couple without argument/disagreement.

This really makes me think are we really a pair of good couple. Is our relationship really deep and solid? We are not as happy/match as people from the outside c.

I have no one to turn to. Not my fds, not my family, not my bf.

However, I know GOD is always there. He sees my tears. He hears my cry. He understands my pain and sadness. HE is here for me. HE is the only one who can understand me.