how scary are complaints and discouragement!!!

Oh my...after so many years of ignoring this blog, i found that i was so negative.. LOL.... 2 Corith 12:10 :)

scared

im scared. I feel like we r no long couple. I feel like I don't know u anymore. what we talk aren't as deep as a friend. I really feel like we r playing hide and seek. but both r talking the hiding role. this game will either end soon or it will nvr end but living like 2 strangers.

I rather to hv conflict then not talking n pretend everything is going. but at the end, everything is just ended.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

Understanding

it has been a long long time since i came here n write a post. Today, I had an awesome day. Helping fds to move houses, great dinner, had a great chat (almost). But as we continue to talk, we reached until point where we held 2 different ideas. when both of us think wt we were saying is rite and dun wanna give in, this is where the great chat became an almost great chat.

as usual, once we chatted until point where we hold different ideas/opinion and we both think we have nth wrong, then it is where the problem is. He will always say "it is my fault sorry". But this will nvr b the reply or response that i want. Because i know deep down in him, he doesnt think that way. He just doesnt want to continue to talk or he thinks we will nvr understand each other. And every time, we would end with awkwardness and sadness. like be4, tears fall, heart sinks, silent me. We will nvr come to a conclusion. We will nvr understand each other. We will nvr have conflicts because we will nvr talk. We will always stop at the point, and avoid the topic, in order not to have that conversation, and we would think that this topic is all settled, nth wrong, we are still a happy couple without argument/disagreement.

This really makes me think are we really a pair of good couple. Is our relationship really deep and solid? We are not as happy/match as people from the outside c.

I have no one to turn to. Not my fds, not my family, not my bf.

However, I know GOD is always there. He sees my tears. He hears my cry. He understands my pain and sadness. HE is here for me. HE is the only one who can understand me.

mind game

devil always play with our mind game.

No matter how strong you are physically, but once your mind is being played by the devil, you will for sure become weak.

I know this!! And I know this all the time!!! I hate being played by devil. But I always fall into this trap!!!! I hate it so much!!!!!!!!

BUT

NOW I know, if I fall again, I will plant GOD's words into my mind. I will use the sword of GOD's words to fight against it!!!

And I know I WILL ALWAYS WIN, if I am WITH HIM!!!!

what is patient??

do you have any experience of teaching someone, but they just never listen to you and keep doing the same mistake again and again???Have you ever had an experience that you know that is wrong, but your friend or someone that you know kept doing it??

I had that before. And I believe that almost everyone should have that experience before.It is just so frustrating!!! You may try to tell him..once...twice....three time.....but thats it!!!!!

But GOD is perfect in "patient". When i did wrong for the first time, he taught me and forgave me. the second time, he reminded me, and forgave me. third time, reminded me and forgave me again. And again and again. HE just teaches and reminds me again and again.

What a wonderful and awesome GOD!!!

who is here for me?

i haven't been posting blog for so long. recently, i felt so lonely.
no matter i am with friends or boyfriends. It once made me emo.

BUT, why do i need to feel lonely, since i know my
is everywhere and with me all the time.

"That night the LORD appeared to him and said,
"I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you"
Gen 26:24

love is....

What is LOVE?

Before today, i thought i am a person who know how to love a person. Be nice, be kind, be patient, be encouraging, be cheerful, be friendly.

But what is LOVE?? I got a note book from my boyfriend. And the cover of it is with a bible verse. It teaches me how to LOVE and what is LOVE.

"Love is patient Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

This is one of the most famous quote for a christian and a non-christian. It tells us what is love.

For me, I think i am patient, i am kind. But when i read this verse over and over again, I know Love is not just that. Love needs more!! It is hard for me. But it is the true LOVE.

I encourage you to practice this LOVE. It is hard, but with GOD's strength and help, nothing is impossible. LOVE without easily angered, LOVE without keeping the records of wrong, LOVE without envy, LOVE with lot of TRUST!!!